Spending too much time online and not knowing how to mind my own business made me realize that the concepts of modesty and tznius are wildly misunderstood.

Tznius can be defined as a set of rules to follow. Modesty, on the other hand, is a concept.

The distinction is between how you behave and carry yourself, versus simply following prescribed rules. If you’re clubbing in a long skirt, you are within the rules of tznius, but you aren’t being modest. On the flip side, you can violate hilchos tznius by wearing pants to work and still be extremely modest.

The irony of people waiting until the zman on Motzei Shabbos to go get drunk and engage in degeneracy is not lost on me. It pretty much sums up most people’s cognitive dissonance around religion.

Interestingly enough, the Shulchan Aruch speaks about tznius and modesty for men as well (Orach Chaim simanim 2, 74, and 91; Even HaEzer 21), but nobody really seems to care, because men are perfect. Only women need tznius asifahs to get to the bottom of why little kids get cancer.

(Unless you are a medical professional or have a billion dollars, there is nothing you can do about cancer. Just go home and hang out with your husband. Or yell at your kids, if that’s your thing. Really, anything other than trying to cure cancer from the ladies’ section of the shul basement.)

The point of these rules, as they pertain to tznius, is to set the stage for modesty. This goes for both men and women. If you never get to the modesty part, you are missing the whole point.

Why being a modest person matters is a conversation in itself. However, just on a surface level, being promiscuous, which is the opposite of modest, isn’t conducive to a happy and fulfilling life.

The point is not to attack anyone specifically; it is simply a starting point for the conversation.